Ok, this will not in any way be NS related but I cannot contain myself anymore. As Linus famously prognosticated so many years ago, society has grossly over commercialized Christmas. They are hitting us with Christmas earlier and earlier each year in the hopes of selling enough stuff to at least make up some of their losses. Christmas is now all about buying things (maybe Scrooge was right).

I have tried to have my blinders on as I go through my day, ignoring the Christmas commercials, ignoring the holiday decorations going on outside the stores, ignoring the Santas hitting the "all you can eat" buffets to get in shape for their big debuts...

However, I was driving home yesterday and I stopped at a light.This was a long light so I took a look around to see if anything was new in the area. I swung my head left, nothing, I took a look in my rearview mirror, nothing. I turned my head to the right...

It was there...

It could not be avoided...

A Christmas tree farm had been established off to the side of the road.

It wasn't being planned.

It wasn't being constructed.

It was there, fully stocked with every kind of fir tree imaginable in all shapes and sizes.

It was open for businness.

I cannot imagine how anyone in their right mind would be a christmas tree two weeks into November? Even with all of the garden technology available to us in these modern times, I fail to see how any christmas tree would be able to survive 7-8 weeks (I can usually keep 'em green for about 3 if I use spray praint).

This has gotten way way out of hand.

Oh misery, thy name is Linus Van Pelt.

 

 

I was hiking the other day which always gives me time to let my mind wander. During this time I usually have an epiphany or two and this time was no exception. I started to think about how much weight I have lost and then I started to think about why it is referred to as losing weight.

When I think of something being lost, it is something that is someplace that needs to be some place else. The thing that is lost usually needs to be found. I think we can all agree that lost weight definitely does not need to be found.

Additionally, being lost seems to think that it happened by accident. It's like the weight took a wrong turn at the liver and ended up in the lower intestine rather than the gut. I can just see a family of fat molecules driving in their fat car. The fat father is muttering about knowing that the cut off is "right around the bend"; the fat mother is pointing to a white blood cell and pleading with the fat father to ask it for directions; there are two fat kids in the back who are texting their millions and millions of friends back home. Nyah, not buying it.

Another thing we can agree on is that burning weight IS NOT AN ACCIDENT! Nothing gets lost and nothing definitely needs to be found. We work hard to get rid of this weight, we sacrifice and we succeed.

We DESTROY the weight!

We SLAUGHTER the weight!

We ERASE the weight!

The next time someone remarks about how "you have lost a lot of weight!" stand up and proudly proclaim: "I have not lost a single thing! I have killed a lot of weight!"

 (And make sure to thank them afterwards)

 

Ok, I do love the NS and it is definitely working for me, but one bone I do have to pick is the Marie Osmond commercial. One of the reasons she lists for using NS is that there is no counting nor measuring...I beg to differ.

Yes there is no counting for the NS food, but the additions each have a specific measure. I was eating grapes for my morning snack and I realized with absolute horror that I HAD EATEN 16 GRAPES! I don't need this added pressure.

Also, the measurements are kind of weird too. I usually have a hard boiled egg for breakfast. The carton says medium, however in the NS guide there are options for large, small...and egg. Do I live in a weird state that has medium-egg producing chickens?

It's a good thing the chocolate scones, and chocolate crunch bar, and the nutrichocolates and the caramel chocolate delights and pretty much all of the desserts are soooo good!

I blame this on all of you. I was adding pictures to my page to become more of the group and I came across a picture of me at the Hofbrauhaus in Muenchen from last year. It was my first time back in almost thirteen years and of course I was celebrating with a beer (or twothreeefourfive....)

The sight of what can only be described as liquid ambrosia filled my soul with a longing I haven't known since....well yesterday when I drove by Taco Bell.

Had I not seen that picture I would have been just fine and content with my flatbread pizza (1 container) and green beans (1 cup raw) and so on. But now thoughts of German beer (really the ONLY real beer) will be running through my mind tonight. If I just decided to be anti-social everything would have been just fine! ;-)

Does anyone know if there is a NS program that includes beer as your daily carb intake?

 

 

For those of us who have 100 + lbs to lose I have to admit I am a little bit nervous about the size of the bear waiting for us when those 100 lbs come off. Just judging off of the increase of size from 10 to 50 I am guessing this bear will be about 10 feet tall and probably weigh about 200 lbs.

The reason for my concern is I am not sure where I can put a 200lbs 10 foot tall bear. I suppose I will have to leave it in the front yard but then there is the home owner's association to think of. In a place where trash cans left out overnight are met with extreme disapproval, I could be looking at legal action. That would be a fun lawsuit though, HOA v. 200 lbs 10 foot bear. If I am lucky maybe the judge will be on NS too and lean my way.

 

 

 

Eating NS for lunch at work is kind of a pain. It's not so much that I am
embarrassed to be seen eating NS but the inevitable interview I seem to
have to give every time I pop open my lunch box is getting a bit wearisome.

I have tried to cleverly dissuade people from coming up to me by reading a
book while I am eating lunch. I have enjoyed moderate success with this
when I am travelling and do not wish to speak to the person sitting next to
me. However at lunch, people either do not see the book or have decided
that their questions are more important than my peace.

It always starts out the same

"You eating Nutrisystem huh?" And we both stare at the Nutrisystem
container with Nutrisystem in big bold letters.

"Yeah." Then comes the scan. The one thin people give fat people when they
see they are dieting to see if they can detect any change in their
appearance. Then comes the second inevitable question.

"You trying to lose weight?" That's when my blood pressure starts to rise
ever so slightly. Being trained extensively in the British school of dry
comedy (Monty Python, Black Adder and so on) my mind will always come up
with sharp retorts such as:

"No, it is just I find the split-pea soup (1 container) to be so
delightfully blissful as to nearly rival the act of sex. Actually it may be
better than sex because eating NS does not nearly make me as sweaty."

But I usually just say:

"Yeah, a couple pounds."Then comes the next question.

"Is it working?" To be honest that is a fair question to ask me. I am in
the "needs to lose 100+ pounds" club and so even though I have already lost
about 13 pounds, it is hardly noticeable. Still, most people ask it in a
more accusatory way.  When they ask, "is it working?" they're more likely
saying "you still look fat." But I try to keep my cool.

"I think so." is my generic and safe reply. Then they pat their belly
(which is usually flat as a board) and say:

"Yeah I could stand to lose a few pounds too." Then we would stare at each
other again for awhile. Usually around that time the microwave will beep
mercifully and they wander off to enjoy left-over sausage pizza while I
crunch away on my carrot.

Oh well, sooner or later at least people will stop asking me if it is
working so I have that to look forward to!

I used to crave twinkies, ding dongs, reese's pieces...since I have been on NS for about two weeks now and I am proud to say that I have not had one of those since I started. However I now have a new craving, diet soda.

I saw that diet soda was one of the things that not only could we drink, but we could drink in unlimited amounts. I decided to have a diet soda in the afternoon to tide me over between my afternoon snack and dinner. I've been good and kept it to one but I now look forward to my diet soda, the sweet sweet almost sugar but not quite taste.

The bubbles tickle my throat, teasing me with the notion that what I am drinking is bad (because it's carbonated) but that it really isn't. It truly is a wonderful thing.