I was hiking the other day which always gives me time to let my mind wander. During this time I usually have an epiphany or two and this time was no exception. I started to think about how much weight I have lost and then I started to think about why it is referred to as losing weight.

When I think of something being lost, it is something that is someplace that needs to be some place else. The thing that is lost usually needs to be found. I think we can all agree that lost weight definitely does not need to be found.

Additionally, being lost seems to think that it happened by accident. It's like the weight took a wrong turn at the liver and ended up in the lower intestine rather than the gut. I can just see a family of fat molecules driving in their fat car. The fat father is muttering about knowing that the cut off is "right around the bend"; the fat mother is pointing to a white blood cell and pleading with the fat father to ask it for directions; there are two fat kids in the back who are texting their millions and millions of friends back home. Nyah, not buying it.

Another thing we can agree on is that burning weight IS NOT AN ACCIDENT! Nothing gets lost and nothing definitely needs to be found. We work hard to get rid of this weight, we sacrifice and we succeed.

We DESTROY the weight!

We SLAUGHTER the weight!

We ERASE the weight!

The next time someone remarks about how "you have lost a lot of weight!" stand up and proudly proclaim: "I have not lost a single thing! I have killed a lot of weight!"

 (And make sure to thank them afterwards)