Based on those results, the Neurologist is "squeezing" my DH in tomorrow morning, we are a "wait" appointment which means that we are to be there when the doors open and one of the four neurologists will be squeezing him in between already scheduled patients. 

Guess the 3 week wait was indeed inappropriate, glad I stuck to my guns and insisted on more followthrough.  Incredible though that they would mislead someone like that.  And thank goodness I have 15 + years of medical office management experience to withstand their idiocy and steer them in the right direction.

Needless to say, now we are even more worried because these "abnormalities of the brain" are apparently more serious than they initially let on.  Shame on them for making an immediate wrong decision...they should have spent more time evaluating and thought it through.

Regardless, my DH is being seen ASAP and hopefully this will all be understood better and most importantly be treatable.

Again, thanks for all your support.

Suzanne

P.S.  Registration went fine, I am signed up for my first class and I don't need to go back on Wednesday next week for an advisor meeting :o)

What I did was surely the wrong thing NS wise, but the right thing for THE moment...I think.

Yesterday I tried making a follow up appointment for my DH with the neurologist to review his MRI results...he has been suffering from migraines terribly for the past couple of months now and they are completely dibilitating.  The MRI was done 2 1/2 weeks ago and they have the audacity to say that they have nothing sooner than one that is another 3 weeks away.  I unhappily accepted after reading them the riot act and demanding that a doctor call with the actual detailed results of his MRI.  I was told that the doctor he will be seeing is not in, however, they will see if another doctor can give us some details.  30 minutes later I get a call from the doctor's assistant who gives me a quick 30 second explanation of my DHs MRI...

"there are some abnormal brain changes, but Dr. Smith will have to read the MRI tomorrow and call with more information, in the meantime I will continue to look for an appointment sooner"

W T F ? ? ?  You provide limited yet very disturbing information like that and then tell me to deal with it until someone has time to re-read the MRI and hopefully you will be able to squeeze us in...are you freakin' kidding me???

So, what is my coping mechanism?  Go home, break the disasterous news to my DH, offer to buy him dinner to soothe the shock, order Chinese which I haven't eaten since beginning NS 8 months ago and then eating a HUGE portion of it so he felt like I was with him 100%.  Eating meals together, and them being the 'same' meal is a huge 'family' comfort to him.  So, I looked into those big beautiful puppydog eyes of his and melted right into the chinese food.  Man, the power of love, huh?!?!?

So, this morning I begin my day at College Registration signing up for my first course while anxiously awaiting a call from Caitlyn the assistant with hopefully more information and a much sooner appointment with Neuro.  If I survive today it will truly be a miracle.  I am trying to register for school per my advisor, whom I've yet to meet with as of yet, earlier than their "rules" say I can.  I was told to make sure they find someone to sign off on my early registration per her, but if she isn't there they can easily turn me away.  Also, I am required to take a seminar on the intro to this course 'prior to registering for class', but by the time I take the seminar on the 30th the course will probably be full, so it was recommended I go today and battle my way through this premature yet complete registration.

I know many of you couldn't give two hoots about all of this, and I certainly respect that, but the one thing I have learned since being on NS, this is one place where I can feel comfortable putting it all out there, even if just for me...it clears the mind and allows me to move on with my day.

Thanks for taking the time to listen.  Have a good day!

Suzanne

This morning in my corner of Connecticut it is freakin' cold.  The sun was supposed to shine, however, it is dark and overcast...just gloomy and frigid.  It makes me lack the energry to keep moving to keep myself warm.

The good news is why I am so freakin' cold...I solely attribute it to the loss of 51 lbs.  It is amazing how your body changes with such a significant loss.  I am still extremely overweight...still have another 50 lbs to lose, but I can tell you that when I was 100 lbs overweight I was NEVER hot.  I NEVER wore a jacket or a long sleeved shirt in the dead of winter.  I would leave my house in the snow in short sleeves and walk to my car as though I was on a tropical island.

My fear now though is, that when I am down those 100 lbs, that I may need to invest in a heated parka, snowpants, and big wooly mammoth boots just to leave the house and walk 30 feet to my car.  And then, how do I ever get into that little Civic of mine in all of that winter garb?

I guess I will just have to look forward to making goal in order to find out, huh? 

Have a warm and fuzzy day everyone!

Suzanne

P.S.  In the meantime, does anyone know where I can get a professional looking pair of fingerless gloves to wear while at work?  I sit in front of a HUGE window and it makes it even colder!

Yes, I am done with the exam.  I aced the reading/comp, however, the math...they gave me an 'elementary' algebra test which I passed, however, I don't think that my score allows me to bypass the elementary algebra class altogether...their scoring system isn't revealed completely until I speak with a counselor tomorrow. 

So, again, thanks for all your well wishes and I will update all of you when I find out what the results really mean.

Suzanne

P.S.  THANK GOODNESS IT IS OVER AND DONE WITH!!!

Yes, those of you who have stuck with me through all this time on NS...tonight is THE night...I take my college placement exam.  So scary at 38 years old to think that I now need to recall so many things I have NEVER needed to use since highschool 20 years ago like the dreaded ALGEBRA.

I will say, my visit with Leah and Tammy on Saturday in Boston really has helped me overcome some of my fears and worries about the current and upcoming events in my life.  They were both like soothing medicine, a dash of fun and huge amount of love and happiness wrapped up in one...nope, make that two :o)

I know that tonight, while taking my exam, I will be thinking that there are so many people with confidence in me, and that is what is going to pull me through this, hopefully with flying colors.  The verdict should be in tomorrow...I will know whether 'pre' requisite courses will be required based on my test results, so please cross your fingers for me.  All the positive thoughts will surely help.

Have a great day everyone!

Suzanne

THE BEST TIME IN BOSTON...HOORAY

Leah(vikeschick42), Tammy(twinsx2plus2) and I met in Boston today...totally unplanned, well for me anyway, but as of 8pm last night it was official.

Now, the drive to Boston was brutal, the downpours were so hard that the highways were flooded and I passed multiple accidents on my way, but surprising to me, took only 2 hours to get there.  Finding the parking garage recommended by Tammy was a nightmare, circled downtown Boston 6 times before locating it...it's called 75 State Street Garage, however, unbenownst to me, it is on BROAD Street...no wonder I couldn't find it.

I waited in the parking lobby for both of them as they were arriving about 20 minutes after me and low and behold, I hear the elevator beep and then I hear them screaming my name...it was so funny.

Off we go into Fanueil Hall and make our first stop at the Mexican restaurant and ate a very NS friendly lunch.  Got to know eachother a bit and then out into the POURING rain once again.  We did a little shopping, both Leah and I bought umbrellas because it was so darn wet outside and we then realized we should have taken pictures prior to us looking like drown rats...oops, too late now (see attached).

We went to the Holocaust Memorial, saw the memorial for all those lost in Afghanistan...the memorial is hanging dog tags of each and every man/woman we lost and we stopped by Paul Revere's statue. 

We enjoyed our time together more than I can even express.  We clicked as soon as those elevator doors opened, we laughed, we had deep discussions, we discussed so many other topics, NS didn't really come up much which was a nice break, and we formed quite a special bond with eachother. 

I truly couldn't have asked for a better experience.  So much to share on it, but then you'd be reading for the next couple of days...also...

Tobe was right...WHAT HAPPENS IN BOSTON STAYS IN BOSTON!

So, I guess the rest as they say is history...hehehe

Tammy,

Hope you made it home safely.  Can't wait to see you again. 

Leah,

I hope your flight was a pleasant one considering the crappy weather.  I wish you could come out at least annually for business so we can meet up again.

I miss you both already!

Good night everyone.

Suzanne

Today is a new day everyone.  I woke up and worked out for a 3rd day in a row...YIPPEE.  The weekends, food wise, are my main struggle and I am hoping to be able to refocus on conquering them "on my terms" once and for all.  The main focus is what is important to "me" for a change...I will be putting myself and my needs first and foremost.  I am here and committed to remaining here until I have successfully made it to goal.  I am 1/2 way there and am starting to look at things in a different perspective.  I am no longer going to focus on the last 50lbs I need to lose, but rather a shorter more enticing goal such as hitting Onederland.

As for yesterday's fiasco, I have moved on and simply asked to be left alone (which hasn't happened as of yet), but hopefully the NS Moderator will continue to monitor the harassment and edit it as they deem fit.

Don't ever forget that YOUR journey on NS is all about YOU.  Take the time to make yourself the priority and success will surely follow.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Suzanne

No, not a compliment I received, I was just thinking of YOU.  Yes, YOU...the one who is reading this right now and wondering if it pertains to you...well...it does so read on. 

You are to be commended for all of your success thus far, all of your commitments, all of your struggles which you've overcome, all of your goals which you are aiming for, all of your plans that you've made that you want to follow through on, and your end result dreams which you are working diligently toward them finally coming to fruition.

I am sure you don't hear it enough so I will put it out there for YOU...

Hey Good Lookin'...you are doing a great job on your journey to a healthy and happy lifestlye.  Even with obstacles, roadblocks, sadness, temptation, boredom and exhaustion...it can be done and YOU have proven that time and time again. 

Keep up the great work!

(((BIG HUGS)))

Suzanne

At 5:20am I got up, made my DH's coffee for him to bring to work, packed some of his new headache medicine as he awoke with one AGAIN (just had his MRI of the head yesterday...anxiously awaiting his results), and then...DRUMROLL PLEASE... pulled out my Wii Fit Board and the Wii step extension. 

Now, what is truly fascinating to me is I didn't just look at it, complain that my back hurts from bowling last night (which it does) and put it back in the closet...no siree...I USED IT ! ! !

I did the advanced step aerobics with the extension which I haven't done in at least 3 months and it was a really great workout...heartrate up, felt it everywhere...feels good actually.

So, even though last night didn't remain 100% as it should have, I have now stepped up my commitment once again...LET THE EXERCISE BEGIN :o) 

MY PAGE

Feel free to take a look at my progress if you are interested.  It is an eye opener to me to see what is different and what is still haunting and the same.

Have a great day everyone!

Suzanne

So no need to remind me, but sometimes I just don't get it...

I went to my college orientation on Saturday morning, it went fine and I have my pre-placement exam scheduled for Monday, November 16th at 5:30pm.

Then I went home, called my mom, invited her over for dinner and a movie with my DH & DSS and logged onto the computer to see if my login info. was set up to try the practice placement exams.  Surprisingly enough, it was, so I began testing right away.  My mom shows up and within 20 minutes we were arguing so she left in a huff after having the nerve to tell me that I shouldn't be practicing on the recliner (HELLO??? I am 38 years old, a freakin' adult and live in a 1 bedroom/2 room condo, so that is the only comfortable option).

I can live with that stressor, what I can't live with is the constant abuse from people...they know just the right time to call you up (Sunday morning family breakfast time) and give you attitude, blame you for all that is wrong with their lives and then threaten you with something assinine.

I got over that and on we went with our day.  Then at 4pm we show up at DSS' mom's house to drop him off and the door is unlocked, but no one is home.  So, we hand him my cell phone and tell him to call his mom and find out where she is.  Next thing we know he is crying on the phone...my DH says that he is to tell his mom that we will not leave an eleven year old home alone and she can now come pick him up from our house at 6pm and she refuses.  What a freakin' witch she is.  She then demands to speak with my DH who can't take the call because we don't have the bluetooth with us and he is driving (CT law prohibits using a cell phone while driving unless a handsfree device is in use). 

So, she finally has my DSS tell us to meet her up the road, she will be there in 5 minutes, so we agree.  She pulls into the parking lot just past us and waves my DSS into the car and then speeds off before he is even buckled in.  Then she has the nerve to email my DH this morning to say that nobody is as perfect as us and that if she had 'HIS' number, she would've called to say she is running late, but that she refuses to call mine.  (quick synopsis...she has called MY home number for 4 years now, but now that we had it removed, only planning on using our cell, she has changed her mind...also, she didn't hesitate to use my cell while we were on vacation to find out if we would be mailing her child support on time even though my DSS was with us on the trip)  So, my DH replies that she will NEVER be given his cell # as he never brings it with him (which is 100% true) and that she is a poor parent to leave an eleven year old home alone without a phone in case of emergency (she has a cell, but is out drinking and gambling all day & night, so we couldn't even reach my DSS on his birthday cuz she was boozin' at the local casino).

Anyway, then later on that night my mom calls and says do you know what made me so angry...I responded...no, you said when you left that it was your crappy mood that was making you leave, that it wasn't me at all and since she was about to blame it all on me as usual I told her I had no desire to discuss it with her.

It is so stressful to have people treat you like you are still a puppet child who cannot defend yourself and, that alone, permits them to crap all over you, but when you are 38 years old and a RESPONSIBLE MARRIED ADULT, they need to move on with their lives.

So, needless to say...I had quite a CRAPPY weekend and am very glad it is over.  I still plan to choose my stressors in life, but these are out of my control.  I hope that both of these "adult" women can finally grow up and be responsible for their own actions and stop blaming me for all that is wrong in their lives.

Thanks for listening...here is to a 100% NS day.

Suzanne

P.S.  We are now considering getting DCF involved again, but hate how my DH's Ex always takes instances like these out on my DSS.  She totally attacks him when she doesn't get her way and it is so unfair to do that to a young child.

P.P.S.  Mo', I am sure you are reading this, as you do every day and you are probably fuming right now, but you have a good reason to be bummed in life right now, but you need to learn that I can only help you if you want it, that beating me up over it and always finding a way to connect me negatively to your issues is getting old and tiring.  I happen to love you very much, but I cannot keep letting your constant angry attitude toward life keep bringing me down with you.  I have a husband whom I adore and I cannot keep being miserable and depressed over your actions & treatment of me and allow them to keep interfering in my married life.  So, be that as it may...it is now up to you.  You are welcome to remain a part of our lives, but there has to be positive changes for this to happen.  And, if you read this and think that I am still the problem, then I am truly sorry you feel that way and maybe it is time we go our separate ways.