Who knew that one phone call to Nutrisystem would change the rest of my life. I had hoped that it would but that tiny voice inside was whispering that this is just another diet. But it's not another diet! It really is something to live by! And its not just the food cause lets be totally honest here, after two and a half months of it UGGG! However, it did get me to focus on the side stuff that needs to be added into everyones diet. What really changed me is that little book called "The On The Go Meal Planner" it's so simple! I am weaning myself off the Nutrisystem meals right now. After last weeks train wreck I really had my doubts and at first I freaked out about this, then I figured all I have to do is find or make the main corse that yields the same calories, fat, and carbs (also sodium) and the rest I already had down! This is something I can do the rest of my life! Who knew it could be this easy!!!

Last week was my first fall from grace, it really felt like hell. However, I'm back!!!! I may have fallen off the horse and then trampled into a quivering mess on the floor by it, but I have scooped myself up and am now standing strong! So strong that I went out car shopping. I bought myself a 2007 Cruiser CONVERTIBLE! Yes, I did say CONVERTIBLE!!! Its just what the doctor ordered! Last night my 13 year old daughter and her 40 year old mother were cruising in the CONVERTIBLE under the stars listening to 80's music, screaming and laughing cause we were freezing to death! I felt like I was 17 again!! My new goal is to get down to 160 by my birthday in June and look sexy and cute riding in the CONVERTIBLE!!!!!

Ok! I have truly been trying to get back in the saddle. I'll start off doing great but night time hits and I slowly begin to loose control. I know I can do this!! I need to put my big girl panties on and hold on tight to this wild (craving) horse. It seemed almost effortless last week and the weeks before that. Why is it that this urge to eat feels so darn strong!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAH!! I'm ok...I can do this.

Thank all of you for your comments!! Wow!! I really needed to hear them.

Ok... let me set the stage. Its friday night (the night before halloween) sitting around a fire pit with my husband and a group of friends. Everyone is chatting and laughing having a good time. Then someone compliments my husband on all the weight he has lost and everyone chimes in with how great he looks..then they start asking me why I quit. CRAP!!!! What a punch in my fat gut!!!!!! Embarrassed and pissed I said that I hadn't quit. I also told them how I had lost 17 lbs already. "But just don't cheat and you will lose more." someone adds, I didn't say anything after that. I tried to brush it off. but it really did hit me hard!!! I guess its cause I have not cheated! the next three days were a blur. I felt like a druggie only my drug of choice is food, I felt so out of control. I can't seem to pull myself out. I'm hurting!