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W8.B.Gone's blog
Okay, checking in again after completing 2 full weeks eating the NS way. I've been so busy I haven't had a chance to visit this website or the community very much. I have 3 children. My oldest daughter is almost 16 and has autism. My second daughter will turn 9 next Monday. (sniff-where does the time go???), and my youngest is a boy who will turn 3 in December. Yes, we are on the seven-year plan as far as having babies. LOL.

I am also in graduate school full time to get my master's degree. I absolutely love school, but it takes a toll being soooo busy all the time. I have well over 100 pounds to lose, but am not sure exactly how much weight I will need to lose. I've been overweight for so long I have no idea what weight I will need to be to be healthy again. For me, it's more about how I feel and maybe a size than an actual weight. I'd be pretty happy to be in size 14s again, and 12s would probably send me to the moon. Regardless, I've now lost almost 13 pounds and that is a step in the right direction. So far, far to go, but just starting was a big part of the battle, I think.

I find myself thinking about my weight loss and life-changing efforts quite a bit throughout the day. I know that for me, doing the Mind Makeover is going to be very, very important. My whole relationship with food must be restructured. I'm trying to find that mental balance between enjoying my food, but knowing that it's just food. It's just calories. It's not comfort, or help, or a deadening agent. It's food. You eat it for energy, and to be healthy. You don't eat it because you are craving sleep but can't go to bed yet, or because you're lonely and don't have anyone to talk to, or for other reasons.

I married into a thin, healthy family. (And dragged my husband down with me....but that's another story.) My sister in law is very healthy and tiny. As I watch not just what she eats, but how she does it, I see the big difference. She eats small portions of pretty much everything that is being served. She loves chocolate above all things, but she can control herself and just eat a small piece of cake (or two). She runs a couple of miles on her treadmill every morning, so she knows she'll burn it off. I think she can enjoy her food, but she knows it's JUST FOOD. Here's to me finding that mindset too. And all of us, really! :)

Lisa

I'm like so many others. I have tried other diets, many things, to lose weight, but they never work. For a long time, I didn't really care that they didn't work. Being fat wasn't great, but it wasn't worth losing weight versus enjoying eating. Now, it's catching up with me and  my health is going downhill, so I have to do something. I have to find a way to love good health more than good food.

I'm not sure how to get past all the feelings that make me eat. I have a daughter who is severely disabled. She is going to require care for the rest of her life. I worry constantly about what will happen to her some day, when my husband and I are gone and can't watch over her anymore. She's so vulnerable. She can't talk enough to tell anyone if she is being hurt or abused. I don't ever get to live a single day without worry and stress because of that. And when I am worried or stressed, I eat. I eat and eat and eat. I eat until I feel my stomach is so full and stretched that I can't eat any more. Why do I do that? Does it release endorphins or something?

There are so many reasons why I overeat. Where do I go to figure this out? How do I work through all of these things, especially my stress over my daughter's situation, because that isn't ever going to go away? How do I make myself want health more than to stuff myself? When I am fat, I feel insulated. No one looks at me-you know, because fat people are invisible. I can go anywhere and never be "seen". Men don't look at me anymore. I used to get comments and flirting all the time, but I haven't in years. Am I in a safety zone? If I am fat and ugly, no one will want me, so I won't be tempted? Or do I eat eat eat because my family raised me with the double-sided sword of "You need to watch, you're getting too big" versus "Finish all of that. I made it for you because I love you, now you need to eat it. All.".

How do I wade through all of this? I'm overwhelmed. One good thing-I am so pleased with how good the NS food is, so far. I have only been on the plan since last Thursday, but so far I like almost everything. Don't care for the scones-the texture tweebs me out-or the soy based "chip" type things, but other than that so far I think most of it is really good. That is helping me, and I know it will continue to help me to be able to eat food that is truly yummy and good for me.

Keeping my fingers crossed. XXX