I've never been thin. I was always the chubby kid or "beached whale" as the evil kid down the street called me. I have often wondered, during each of my many weight loss attempts, whether that fact makes it easier -- because I don't know what I'm missing -- or harder -- because I'm not even sure if I have the ability not to be overweight. I can't even imagine what it must feel like to wear a bikini or feel the need to cover up for any reason other than shame. What I have had before, and don't have now, are hip bones. I feel them, but I don't see them when I look in the mirror. When I was in my third year of law school, I lost 45 pounds on Weight Watchers. I felt great. I still wouldn't have worn a 2-piece bathing suit, but I felt comfortable in my own skin and I even walked differently. I had hip bones and I want them back. They're in there and I'm going to find them again.