Okay. I didn't want to have to do this, but I leave me no choice. This is not the way to have a happy diet. I know this. I learn this the hard way each and every time. I lose a HUUUUUUGE chunk of weight (pardon the pun) and I am all proud of myself for doing so well. Then, I have something I shouldn't. I tell myself "it's OK. You've lost this much weight already, and it's been relatively easy. You can have this *insert name of bad food here* and it won't hurt you. It's just this one time.

   Then a couple of days later, I'll be out with family or something. Everyone is having *insert name of bad food here* I think, it's only one time. I'm going to eat what everyone else is eating too... Now, this has slowed the weight loss waaaaaaay down. To the point that during the month of January, I only lose about 2.5 lbs. (That's in a WHOLE MONTH!) I still think- "It's OK. I'm still losing at least. It'll pick up."

   Then comes a Valentine's Day excursion to Branson, MO. with my beloved. Romantic weekend in a beautiful condo. Steak dinner with all the fixin's. A bottle of wine and a bottle of bubbly. Chocolate covered strawberries, and all this in the bath drawn for me in the whirlpool tub. (strawberries hand fed to me, of course. He's the ultimate romantic) A wonderful dinner the next night at a Japanese steak house where they cook everything 'habatchi' (sp) style...on the grill at your table right in front of you. I saw how much butter the chef put into my food. I thought "this is all ok. It's vacation! We haven't had a REAL vacation in...um, never? Not together, at least. I'll get back on plan when I get home! I can't gain THAT much in 3 days"

   Then comes the arguement. The one that makes it so I hardly want to LOOK at him, let alone talk to him. He doesn't tell me what I want to hear, is the problem. I know he's not lying to me, though I did call him a liar. It happened the next morning. I woke up, went down stairs and said hi to him. I stepped upon him, asking him to be nice....praying that he'd be nice. He has always been relatively pleasant before... not so much. He said I gained 2.4 lbs while on vacation. I said "Say whaaat?? YOU LIE!" I got off and kicked him! Not hard. I didn't break him, but geeeez! I gained back in 3 days what it took me a month to lose?!? Granted it's only 2.5 lbs, but still! It's the principal of the thing!

   So- now I'm here, not losing, but gaining. This is seriously a problem. I ALWAYS gain when I get too lax on the diet. So- I can't get lax. So- open season on me...let the butt kicking begin! Feel free... I can NOT let myself gain again. Next thing I know, I'll have gained all that I lost PLUS an extra 20 or so- um....no thanks. Not this time. I have a wedding dress to fit into, as well as I'm just genuinely tired of being a chunk.  :)