that is what keeps running through my mind as I sit and blog today. My hands are so cold. Now that I've lost some of my weight, I don't continue to sweat all the time. The downfall of that is that my office here at work seems to have the thermostat set a 20 below. Or at least my cold hands think so.

I haven't blogged in a while. Nothing to profound to say I suppose. Life is continuing forward. It always does. No matter how bleak one day will seem, the sun does manage to shine the next. I am at peace with life.

My weight loss is continuing to move forward at a rewarding pace. I first started the program on February 18th. At that point my goal weight was 142 pounds away. Now after a 44 pound weight loss, I can say I only have about 97 pounds more to loss. I am reserving the right to change that number as I get closer to what may possibly be my goal weight. I am not sure what my ideal weight should be. According to some chart some weight expert made, I should be around 152 to 165. So I am open minded that I may possibly not really need to lose as much as I think.

Right now I kind of understand how Anorexia may feel. I know I've lost 44 pounds. My scales tell me. My pocket book tells me, as I've had to buy new pants and shirts twice now. People tell me they notice a big difference. But honestly, right now when I look in the mirror, it all looks pretty much the same to me. But even that doesn't sway me much. It is what it is. I can't expect my body to change it's shape overnight. I just celebrate the small victories as each ounce comes off.

My mother continues to fair well with her Alzheimer's. She is quite the character at times. And as frustrating as the condition is, I can't help but laugh out loud at some of the antics Hester, the lady who looks like my mom is but really isn't, manages to do in a day. From taking glasses from another residence face to pulling a fire alarm. It's rather like having a child in boarding school. Or a reform school, depending upon the phone call reporting what she was up to that day. But I feel it important that we take each incident in, mull it around, find the humor, and move on. I am so happy she is in a safe and comfortable environment, with lots of company and lots of activities to stimulate her.

School is over for the summer. Haze has managed to move to the 6th grade. Even if her report card was muddled with poor grades from poor effort. Hopefully she will see the benefits to doing her assigned homework next year. Things are going to be a little different for her during the next year of school. I will be putting in place some new rules which include major limiting of "screen" time during the school week. Limiting the use of computers, TV, and video games to Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday. After any weekend school projects. But right now I am basking in the warm summer sun and the truce in the homework wars.

It's worth repeating, I am at peace with my life right now.

La Paix,

jaWHOdee