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One of the things we've certainly got to guard against in this weight loss and fitness journey is not becoming too complacent or smug peeps. After a while you begin to think you've conquered every food and procrastination Devil in your life after you've racked up some victories and achieved some, or the ultimate, Goals. I did it, I see other Nutripeeps doing it too... we think that those Devils have disappeared, when in fact they're only dormant until they catch us in a weak or vulnerable moment! *Gasp* Then WHAM, next thing you know you've skipped some days of exercise or eaten that "extra" whatever. It starts slowly and almost inconspicuously, because its a covert attack my Friends... the Devils that are most obvious are least effective and our Devils have studied us and studied us well peeps. You know your weaknesses too, so you have an advantage... of knowing yourself well enough to realize when you're slipping... becoming smug in your journey... or complacent... or so comfortable that you let your guard down. Just for a moment, but that's all it takes... and if left unchecked those small slips can become a landslide of bad habits and choices gaining a foothold and then a stronghold in your life again. So, when you find yourself slipping, get a grip early, and don't beat yourself up for making a mistake, or even a few mistakes, just don't become habitual at it like the food junkies that we know we can be *smiles* and go wheels off, throwing all caution to the wind or worse yet, giving up the fight. Hugs, Dawn |
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Lets imagine we've hit Goal and maintained a while, will we ever REALLY be satisfied with our bodies peeps? I'm throwing this out there because I'm really not altogether sure we will. I've met so many Nutripeeps who are a healthy weight and look terrific, and yet, they aren't satisfied with their bodies and have just about as much, or more, preoccupation with weight, what they eat and redefining their physiques as those who are overweight. That concerns me somewhat because my ULTIMATE Goal is not to have to be preoccupied or obsessed with weight and food at all, I've got other things I want to focus that attention upon. For many years, until I hit my Forties, it just wasn't an issue, somehow my habits and metabolism were in harmony with maintaining a stable and healthy weight with no effort on my part and no real thought having to go into the intricacies of what compromises food. I couldn't have told you about carbs, proteins, fats and such... food was just food to me, I ate, I lived my life... simple. But then it began to get complicated in midlife for me, after having had all my children and shape shifting from the uber slender 98-105 lbs. I'd maintained all my adult life... suddenly I felt fat. I was 130 lbs. my Friends!!! *LMAO* And I was no longer satisfied with how I looked or what I weighed! *LOL* In hindsight I was just not skinny anymore and not at all used to having a slightly filled out womanly figure *wink* so the curves threw me. I wasn't used to seeing myself with that particular shape and I viewed it as a negative, even though 130 lbs. at 5'2" and Forty something was certainly healthy and looking back at photos I looked pretty damnnn good if I do say so myself! *smiles* But at the time I remembered feeling overweight and NOT satisfied. Fast forward another decade and here I sit now with a Goal of 159 and a weight of 182 *sigh* which is indeed overweight and yet, more toned, healthy and shapely than when I began this journey over two years ago. That Goal is a whopping 29 lbs. heavier than what I USED TO regard as FAT my Friends! *LOL* Perspective has changed and I see it all the time on this site. I see the varied Goals each of us has established and each in their own mind feel will be "ideal weight or body type". Some will be satisfied *or so we think* when they get to Onederland, others want to be more slender or muscular or downright skinny... some have a Hollywood inspired vision of what the perfect Man or Woman's body should look like... so, we're back to the initial question peeps... will we EVER REALLY be satisfied??? I wonder...
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Well, I had to try them, I'm a sucker for new foods I've never experienced, I'll try anything once, twice if I like it! *wink* I'm talking about the Crawdad special Popeye's is having peeps. Only problem is, its FRIED! *Gasp!!!* Yes, I know, fried foods are the devil... and it comes with seasoned fries *Double Gasp*... and a biscuit *Triple Gasp*... So, I had it coming, you are probably saying? *smiles* Because a strange thing happens when I try to eat fried foods now my Friends... no matter how tasty the item, how enjoyable... afterwards I literally feel sick to my stomach because its so rare that I partake of anything fried anymore. *whew* Yes, it definitely helps me stay on Plan and not be so easily tempted by the Fried Devil. And though I must say the crawdads were far better than I expected them to taste, and the seasoned fries were spicy and divine as well ... and 4-year old Grand-Daughter Princess T was unanimous in the assessment of how good a meal it was as she sampled the fare... it will certainly be my first and last fried crawdad/seasoned fries with a biscuit experience peeps. For the rest of the evening I suffered the consequences of queasiness from the fried devil. But, I'm not alone... my Son, who has now been on NS Plan for several months and still losing weight enviously, says that he can no longer eat, or even smell, fried foods either without feeling sick from the grease... and that my Friends we see as a GOOD thing! *happy dance*
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Okay, so for the past several days I've been white-knuckling it on the avoidance of stress binging peeps!!! *gritting teeth* I've eaten twice completely off Plan in attempt to appease and pacify the stress binge devil. Both meals were like Heaven on earth *ahhhhhh, Angels singing* and the other meals for each day were NS friendly so I didn't go wheels off my Friends. But I did feel a twinge of guilt for deliberately eating more cals and bigger portions on each meal than I knew I should. Did I consider doggie bags and eating it later? NOPE... the comfort each meal provided at the time in a very stressful situation was too much like a drug and I desperately needed a 'fix'. *sigh* I knew it would not be habitual so I reasoned that it was better than depriving myself to a point where emotions, unbearable stress and hunger pangs ganged up on me and I'd throw up the white flag, throw in the towel and totally binge, throwing all caution to the wind. *LOL* I had seen my hands shaking a bit from nerves and taking meds for stress is out of the question, over the years food has been my drug of choice. *wink* I'm just not a pill popper and prescription drug use scares me as much as street drug use given some of the tragic casualties of it I've witnessed over the years. Not that becoming a fattie again isn't equally scary and thankfully the length on Plan has been terrific rehab for a foodie such as myself. Ninety nine point nine percent of the time I do really well and that's a celebration and a victory I am still amazed at, given my track record for a seven year period prior to NS. Truly amazing how Italian or Greek food stops the shakes of the Food DT's for me *wink*, Manicotti and Gyros could be my Crack... *LOL* And it was more than a little ironic that after a long day at the VA Hospital yesterday of visiting my DH in the Mental Health Ward, there I was sitting at a Greek Restaurant called "Crazy Jim's"! *LMAO* I'm still waiting for Dr. Drew to have a "Food Rehab" reality show... they've gotten as far as Drug, Alcohol and Sex Rehab now... so Food has GOT to be next, right???!!! *smiles* Dr. Drew is hot... he could definitely counsel me *wink* and help me with this food addiction thang... but, until then, you guys are certainly cheaper than therapy *smiles*... and as always, THANKS, YOU ROCK!!!
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Okay, so you know from previous posts that I can be Postal Grammy... but there is the Postal Mom side of me too! *wink* Yesterday was the day Postal Mom made an appearance peeps! Let me set the stage... DH is currently in the lock down section of the VA Hospital's Mental Health section and I'm dealing with all that drama and stress. So last night I'm scrambling for babysitters for the Grandkids so I can go see DH and drop off necessities for his extended stay there. I already know that children under 12 won't be allowed, but my 9 year old Grandson's Aunt had to call me at the last minute to say she's working late and can't take him after all. I've got 4 year old Princess T covered and Robert doesn't want to stay with his Uncle at home, he's worried about Grandpa and wants to see him and make sure he's alright. I don't have the strength to fight him on that and figure I'll use my Monty Hall Lets Make A Deal skills at the Hospital in hopes they can accommodate us this one time??! Well, God Bless 'em, they do, putting us in a private locked room for our safety and allowing Robert to spend special time with Grandpa and share a meal with him there, alleviating his concerns. But, wouldn't you know, 23 year old Son has a Rain Man Moment and decides that he'd host a Bar-B-Q Beer and Vodka Fest at the house in my absence! What part of that sounded like a good idea to him given what Mom was already dealing with, well, I'll never know... obviously he knew WHERE I was and the circumstances surrounding it with Dad and all... so perhaps he was thinking if he sent Mom over the edge, well, we could get a group discount at the Mental Health Ward, I dunno??! *LOL* So, I pull up to the house at about 9 pm and young men are streaming out my back door going, "Liam, your Mom's home!" Guilt written all over the scenario my Friends... seems there has been a "situation" during their lil party, they left the doors hanging open and one of our young male "outside cats" got into the house and freaked out when he couldn't figure out how to get back outside and had a host of drunken young men trying to usher him back out! So, Gypsy is climbing the walls, breaking antiques and vintage items in his path and peeing all over the place in his panic! So... I come home to antique shards and male cat pi$$ aroma permeating the house! I proceeded to go Postal and young men are scattering like wheat shaff in the wind!!! *smiles* Oh, yeah, nobody is acting macho right about now, they knew it would be a suicide mission to try to talk me down from this one peeps! I'm cutting my bare feet on small shards of glass they hadn't been sober enough to see, the rest of the "evidence" is in assorted trash cans throughout the house... like I wouldn't notice... RIGHT!!!!! So, the little House Party was busted and I made it clear to #1 Son that if he didn't wanna find himself sitting on a Park Bench in the rain, disrespecting me and my house again and putting more stress on me at the worst possible time, well, it oughtta be a no-brainer in the future!!! So today there is no trouble in Paradise once again as everyone is kissing a$$ so that I won't have to be kicking it! *wink*
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My DH was hospitalized again today and will be there a while. *sigh* On my Fitness Forum we log our daily Cardio and Strength training and an Assessment for the day. Some days I've put "none" on Strength and today I reconsidered that entry, it wasn't entirely true. You see I've had to be physically and emotionally strong to get through each day for a very long time peeps. Not all strength is developed via weight training. Quite often strength training, well, it's called LIFE! There's an old saying that whatever doesn't kill you only makes you stronger... I believe this to be quite true. We're in training every day, whether we realize it or try to be intentional about it or not. Sure, I've now incorporated some weight training to develope a certain amount of strength, but most of the strength I possess has certainly been developed in other ways. Ways I didn't always choose or appreciate, sometimes ways that tested what strength I presently had while developing it to be even stronger. There have been days when I've felt that I've been pressed above measure and beyond strength... only to find that I'm actually stronger than I've given myself credit for or realized because I've endured and gone on, tired at times, but still moving forward. My hope for each of you is that you continue to have the strength for this journey each of us is on and reach your destination so that you finish ... and finish well. Hugs, Dawn |
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Since starting NS over two years ago I've been exercising daily and that includes walking A LOT! So much in fact that my poor ole' feet are showing it! Lately I've been noticing the wear and tear on them and how unloved they appeared. Unloved feet... you know what they look like... and mine were starting to resemble Tarzan feet from all the miles they've been logging daily in an effort to get my girlish figure back. *wink* Here I was taking better care of my body than ever and yet neglecting my poor feet which were taking a hammering every day on my behalf! Obediently trudging on their daily marathon walks, for hours and miles. Sometimes tired and achy, often dusty and getting calloused, tanned yet showing signs of neglect as I concentrated on other things. Can't afford the Pedi's anymore, and I had been negligent in pampering them myself with daily soaks, gentle massages, lotions and potions, pretty pedicures... that is, 'til now. I had no excuse to have unloved feet, they deserved the same care and consideration I'm giving the rest of my body, maybe even more since they're really the cornerstone of my workouts. They say the feet are considered the body's most responsive area for accessing energy zones. Reflexologists believe the entire body is mapped on the feet, starting with the toes to reflect the head. A foot massage is said to stimulate 7,000 nerves! So, from now on, they're going to be treated with love and respect, cared for in a way that will show that they're loved too! Happy feet!!! *smiles*
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Often the point of reference just isn't there peeps and we have to remember that when suggesting to others that "You should..." do this or that. Its not that its meant in a bad way, the suggestions are valid and very often heartfelt and sincere. It isn't meant to make someone feel hopeless or embarrassed, but sometimes it can anyway. Case in point, my struggle with Maintenance has been a very long and frustrating one. I've been in a holding pattern at 182 for several months now and joined a serious fitness forum with mentors that truly intend and want to help all of us who participate. I've diligently done the suggestions the mentors on the forum feel will help me succeed, as well all the suggestions of the NS Counselors... all to no avail. *big huge sigh* Most of the suggestions were things I could incorporate into my exercise regimen and budget so it hasn't been impossible for me to follow. But then it was suggested recently that because nothing is happening "You should hire a Personal Trainer for a month because they would be able to follow your habits and make suggestions that were based on personal observations you might not even be aware are hindering you." Sounds valid, sincere and heartfelt and I am absolutely certain it was my Friends. Problem... no point of reference that not everyone can afford that option... me being one of them. *even bigger sigh* I would LOVE to be able to hire a Personal Trainer, its right up there on my list of desires right next to the trip to Tahiti peeps! *wink* But with a Family of five on a VA Disability income we're struggling at times to make the basic ends meet. So hiring a Personal Trainer, not gonna happen... and having to explain that in a way that doesn't discount the suggestion or make it sound like an offense, well, that can be tricky peeps. I wasn't offended so that wasn't the issue, but it is a lesson in humility to have a suggestion given that you couldn't possibly afford, when the person suggesting probably hasn't a clue that not everyone can take that route... So, just be mindful when trying to help, that you realize not everyone is in the same situation... and for some, certain options just aren't an option.
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Have you ever seen an "old school" favorite candy from your childhood that you haven't seen in ages and then realize... oh no they didn't... the modern version has gone PC?!?!! Politically correct candy OMG, I almost peed my pants! *laughing hysterically* I'm at the Trick-Or-Treating event with the Grandkids yesterday, picking up some last minute candy for Halloween and I almost didn't recognize one of my old favorites from childhood. Candy Sticks????? *Puzzled expression* Hey, these look like those Candy Cigarrettes I used to Jones for as a kid!!! *picking bag up for a closer inspection* The little boxes look the same, only now they have Halloween and Super Hero decorations... I wonder says I... if it IS the old fav I haven't seen in years???!! At a dollar a bag, why not, so I buy some, anticipating the nostalgia if it IS the old favorite I so fondly remembered as a kid??? I used to ADORE those things and I felt so cool pretending to smoke them! *And NO peeps, it didn't turn me into a Smoker later on in life, since I never did smoke the real things as a teen or adult, abhor them actually Smiles... but, pretending to as a kid was a trip and they tasted SO GOOD! Wink* So Princess T and I took some out of the 'lil boxes, WHAT, no red tip anymore *LOL*, but, other than that, yep, same confection *whew*, tastes the same, just as enjoyable! *YES, I know its off Plan but there's only two of these things in a box so I didn't go wheels off peeps!* Then she says it... with her 4 year old astute observational skills... "Hey Gramma, you know what these Candy Sticks look like??? Cigarettes!!!" *giggling* And she proceeds to puff on them just like I remember doing and enjoying the taste just as much as I remember doing. *LOL* "And they taste so good Gramma, these are my NEW favorites..." Ah, the apple didn't fall far from the tree my Friends... and even though they TRIED to make this delightful confection politically correct... you can't fool the rug rats... and its not very likely to be the deciding factor in them deciding to smoke either later in life IMO. *Interviewing a long time Smoker who says it all started back when they had that 1st candy cigarette...!!! smiles* But I sure am glad that they're back... perhaps they never really went away... they've just been disguised in their PC friendly packaging/marketing guise... and its all good. And BTW, today I also saw ANOTHER old fav make a comeback on Cartoon Network... THE PINK PANTHER cartoon! Wow, I says to my grown Son, I haven't seen this old favorite in a LONG TIME, I LOVE this cartoon!!! "Me too, it was always a favorite." he says, "You wanna know why they BANNED it for a while Mom? Because he smokes..." *OMG too coincidental!!! I'm almost peeing my pants again peeps!* We laughed and considered all the violence and mayhem we see displayed on the modern Cartoons, action toys and video games... the Pink Panther and Candy Cigarettes are tame by comparison! "UNDER DOG too Mom, Banned because obviously he was a Speed freak... popping those 'lil pills every time he got ready to go fight crime..." *OMG, LMAO ROTF now peeps!* Lord have Mercy, this was just too good my Friends... laughing 'til it hurts... hey, does that count as exercise I wonder????!?!?!?!?! *hummmmmmmmm* |
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Note to self: Anger and stress are not condusive to my weight loss regimen! *LOL* Yes, yesterday was the day this Gramma went postal! *smiles* After the great dust storm debacle where DH left the doors open during the big storm and I spent two days mopping and cleaning up I ASSUMED the clan would have the good sense not to push me over the edge?! *wink* But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO, they musta had a death wish, or enjoy living dangerously??! I had taken a much needed nap to recuperate after my marathon cleaning gig and when I awoke, it was like I'd entered one of those Haunted Attractions where chaos and debauchery reined!!! The sweet innocent Grandchildren had been replaced by their Children of the Corn alter egos! The house was a wreck, their room in particular! *Arghhhhhhh!!!!!* Grandpy was frazzled and in a tizzy... apparently HE'S NOT SCARY ENOUGH??!?! *wink* So, enter POSTAL GRAMMY, stage left! *gasp and the whole room got eerily quiet and serious as a heart attack!!!* Now let me tell you something about Postal Grammy, she's the alter ego of Being-restored's calmer, serene, usually sunny disposition... *wink* And Postal Grammy don't mess around or make idle threats... nope, Postal Grammy is VERY action oriented and though it makes for one he11uva workout, it is a force to be reckoned with and not my most balanced emotional state! *sigh* So, 99% of the toys that nobody wanted to bother to pick up and put away... GONE! Boxed and bagged up and put into storage in a whirlwind of activity... at least now that's ONE battle that will no longer have to be fought. They can now use their imaginations to play and the house and their room doesn't have to look like Toyland after the Apocalypse! The meals that usually everyone fusses about not being sure they wanna eat... forget about it, they meekly asked for seconds lest they risk seeing it at the NEXT meal reheated and served a-la-Prison-style Cafeteria attitude! *oh yeah* The house got cleaned AGAIN and I pitied the fool that caused the 3rd mess of the day! *LOL* Truly amazing how everyone lined up and straightened out when Postal Grammy hit the scene, they even opted for early bedtime and DH left for the Bowling Alley... just to allow me to sufficiently calm down and not spontaneously combust! *smiles* My very long walks help to dispel stress, anger and any other negative emotions that might hinder me during a day when there is trouble in Paradise. I acknowledge that the current series of crisis and trials piling up had led up to this outburst. And trust me peeps, I made a note to self that anger and stress are NOT condusive to my weight loss regimen... by the end of the day yesterday I had been unable to eat hardly anything and was WAY WAY behind in food intake for the day. Even cleaning, mopping and a two hour walk had been unable to disperse all the emotion I was feeling, so I too made it an early night and got a long rest... and today is a brand new day. *whew* The local Grocery Store chain is having a Trick-Or-Treat event and I've told Thing 1 and Thing 2 that if they can manage to behave today and no more drama... Gramma will take them to it in their costumes. *smiles* So here's hoping today will be a better day my Friends... weeping may endure for the night, but Joy cometh in the morning!
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I'm feeling aggrivated this morning... yesterday while I was out picking up my Grandson from School and my Son from the Store a huge dust storm hit. Prior to it hitting the day had been sunny and mild so I'd opened up the doors to the house to allow fresh air to filtrate through our home. Well, when I get home an hour later I realize my DH had neglected to shut the doors during the storm!!! *Arghhhhh!!!!!!!!! You know what's hitting the fan at about this time!* The storm is actually STILL blowing and he's just sitting there in his recliner, oblivious to the thick layer of dust building up everywhere! So for the sake of him neglecting to do something that would have taken mere seconds, it caused hours of work mopping and cleaning up the mess last night and this entire morning for me!!! Now, that was a workout I didn't need peeps!!! *big sigh* And it has made me too weary to even attempt my intended workout this morning... so lets hope the unexpected cleaning marathon burned sufficient calories!?!?! If getting p***ed off burns cals though, I'm in good shape my Friends! *Smiles*
But... on a positive note... having this cleaning project as a distraction helped get my mind off the trials we've been facing, so it did serve a purpose in a weird sortta way! *LOL* And my Godson Gabriel's emergency apendectomy went well and he'll be out of the hospital in a couple of days, which is a huge relief. I want to thank all the Nutripeeps who responded to my last Blog and encouraged, prayed and lifted me up during a particularly difficult time, you guys ROCK as always! Big NS Bear Hugs and cyber-kisses... Dawn |
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